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Is the old saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" really true? To me, parenting
is the hardest yet the most rewarding job in a woman's life and I don't believe,
in my own childhood experiences, hitting or physical punishment is necessary to discpline
How Can I Make My Kids Behave Without Hitting?
When I got in trouble as a child, my mother would yell at me "When your father comes
home you are going to get it".
I knew immediately that I was going to get a spanking, and he spanked real hard with
three rattan canes tied together. I feared it all day, but viewed it as the price
I had to pay for doing whatever it was that I did wrong.
But it only hurts for a few days and I did not really learn anything from it. There
was once I slapped my sister, and I had choice either to stay in my room while she
and our friends went outdoors to play or get spanked and still able to join them
for play. I said "spank me". Let me ask you, what good did that do?
Now that I am a mother to four beautiful children, I adopt a completely different
approach to discipline.
One day, I caught my son picking out Serrano ham from a pizza, tossing and playing
with it in the dining room, I did not even spank him or raise my voice. I simply
got him to sit still, cross legged on the floor, facing the wall for an hour.
When the time is up, I explained to him that it takes the same amount of time he
spent facing wall for his father to earn enough money to buy a pizza dinner.
Sometimes, children do not see things the way we adults do. Instead of spanking them,
it is good to explain and reason to them why what they did was wrong.
When my youngest son was two years old and being a very inquisitive baby, he would
poke his tiny fingers into kettle spout. Everyone, including his pediatrician, told
me to smack his hand hard when he did something he was not supposed to do. I tried
that but my naughty son just laughed and smacked me back.
From then on, I knew this was not going to work on him. I had try to do things my
way. He was far too young to understand why he should not be doing this, so I simply
taught him that when Mommy says no, it means no. When he repeated his mistakes again,
I stopped him with a firm "no". Then when he did that again, I just let him do it
and see for himself why I said no. Of course, I would never let him seriously injure
himself, but it did not take him long to realize his mistake.
Do not resort to hitting or physical punishment for child discipline. Teach your
child right from wrong and explain the consequences of their actions. Most of the
time they will understand, and appreciate your concern.
Physical punishment creates resentment and tension in a parent-child relationship.
It can lead the child to fear the person that they are supposed to be able to come
to when they need comfort, love or advice.
If the child is too afraid to come forward and confide in a parent when they have
questions, they will turn to friends or other people who may lead them astray in
the wrong directions.
If you invest enough time and effort to talk to your children and explain things,
you will most likely see that it works and you never have to inflict any physical
pain on your child.
Children are a gift and blessing from God. Love them and treat them well.